I was going down the motorway when I came to the section which said "keep 2 Chevrons away from the vehicle in front"
I accelerated up to 110 mph trying to keep those 2 chevrons between me and the vehicle in front.
I thought this was very dangerous for me... he was OK though with those blue lights flashing on his car

I was sat at my PC the other night when the wife asked "What you looking at?"
I said I was looking for cheap flights... "ooh!" She said "I will come and help you"
Which really surprised me as I didn't think she even liked darts

A man went to a fancy dress party completely naked, painted green and giving a piggy back to a girl.
"Who have you come as?" the host asked
"I'm a Teenage Ninja Turtle" he replied
"And who is that on your back?"
To which the man replied "Oh, that's Michelle"

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